Monday, March 16, 2015
Sooo, this week has been very bad and interesting. It hasn't been good at all, to be honest. But, I'll tell you the story. So about a week and a half ago I had a dream. In my dream, my back hurt really bad. I didn't think anything of it because, idk, it's a dream. But I've only had 3 dreams total on the mission because I write them down. But ever since that day, I've had a really strong feeling like I needed to go home. I fought it and fought it. This past Tuesday though, my back started to hurt and its been getting worse. Yesterday I could feel my spine. I really don't want this to be happening. So, I fought the feeling for a while hoping it would go away, but it hasn't. It was a really tough week. So finally, one night, I kneeled down and prayed. I specifically asked for a dream that night that would help me know what to do. I wrote down that dream because I remembered everything that happened in it so clearly. In my dream, was talking to our mom and I ended up getting sent home. I remember waking up that morning and feeling the happiest I've ever been on the whole mission. I saw several people in the dream along the way which I don't want to mention right now, but it stinks. Why does my back need to hurt? My back is getting worse. It's super hard for me to understand. Everytime I pray about it, I get the same answer. Also, the mission doesn't allow me to keep my body as healthy as I want. I've recently gained a testimony of the Word of Wisdom. I just want to eat super healthy and keep it like that. The mission doesn't seem like something that should hurt me and make me sick. Btw, my thing is back. that thing I do when I'm not healthy. I love reading my scriptures every morning and studying Spanish and trying to be a better person, and teaching people, but the other aspects of the mission are really killing me. Idk what to do. and then my companions aren't obedient and they haven't changed at all since they came on a mission, I feel like. I feel bad. This isn't something that any family wants to hear but something has to change. I really want to stay on a mission, but at the same time, I don't want to suffer the rest of my life because I do stay. Please help me.